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gr8dancr
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Name: Emma
Country: United States
State: Virginia
Metro: Fairfax County
Birthday: 7/25/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: dancing on tables, singing harmony (so much cooler than melody), acting crazy. (aka PERFORMING). loooove looove loooove (duh-duh-duhhn). writing and the media. fliriting. pretty colors. cute boys. did i mention...mmm...boys?
Expertise: not humor. definately not love. probably not even boys. but i like to pretend....oh, but i DO know how to CRUSH...oh yessss
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
4/25/2003
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| As I take this repreive from school, boys (sorta), and basically all of
society (I've spent the last three days sitting on my butt, gloriously
reading for pleasure), I have also decided to move on from xanga.
I first established this glorious writing tool my junior year of high
school, and here four years have flown by (oh the Christmas greeting
card cliche - every single card my family has received from another
family this season begins with the exact same thing "I can't believe
another year has come and gone!" I guess we never can) and I think I've
outgrown it. I've grown so much (both physically, emotionally, and as a
writer) in these last four years to the point that xanga doesn't fit me
any more!
Over the summer I became obsessed with reading others' blogs - and all the best ones were on Blogspot.
Since that time I have tweaked my xanga content (focused it) and tried
to establish some sort of readership or commraderie with other
writers/love lamented xanga-nerds. Both have been difficult. Plus the
majority of the reasons (friends) why I started a xanga have left and
laughed at me for continuing with it.
So...on to other things! Not bigger, not better, just different. And we
all know how horribly Emma deals with change. I'm trying to make a
smooth transition...
Plus now non-bloggers can comment on my blog. And who doesn't love more popularity? 
As xanga says... "Hi gr8dancr! It's been 1339 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga... "
That is a big number, xanga. And I will miss you.
This is one entry I want to avoid concluding....so here goes:
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year (and happy new blog)
and gr8dancr.blogspot.com y'all lovers out there
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| Follow-through boy may be the least quality boy I have any option with.
And yet I keep vaguely chasing after him.
Why?
I think its the musician thing.
Or a subconscious attempt to not have to commit to anything.
But Christmas time makes me want a commitment!
I hate boys.
That's a huge lie.
Winter break is so close! And that means:
1. 8th grade/12th grade crush and I are single at the same time. For like the first time. hottttt
2. More blogging, hopefully
- first up: Why girls cannot enact a booty call. It has to be the guys' idea.
- second: I miss high school boys. (I have a good reason, I promise)
3. More metro time and cute metro boys, hopefully
4. Sitting on my butt.
Yay!
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| In light of recent events, I am momentarily abandoning my last story.
Which I kind of am thinking of deleting anyway, since it may be
slightly too specific. I prefer to draw from my own life to talk about general patterns I see around me. Although it is a pretty good story. So anyway!
Yesterday I had resigned myself to the fact that dating does not happen
and will not happen at JMU (at college in general, I suppose, from some
story-swapping over Thanksgiving); and that I am not an exception.
Okay, awesome. That's fine. I'll focus on my school work, quit my habit
of making out with boys hoping they'll date me after the
fact and pretend that John Mayer or OKgo is collectively my boyfriend.
They're more talented and better at communicating deep thoughts (even
if it's through umm...lyrics) anyway. Hmmph.
And then today! Today. I sign online for the first time in a few days,
and am bombarded by boys who I thought were lonnnng gone; too
frustrated with either my lack of commitment, all-talk-and-no-action
attitude or the fact that I won't go farther than kissing with them
(eek).
Follow-through boy IMed me; direct as usual: "I wanna make out"
Oh wow, hi, I'm great, how are you? Awesome. I was flattered...but I
mean, come ON he can try a little harder than that, can't he?
After talking to many girlfriends
earlier today about how stressed they are about the last two weeks of
the semester, I put up an away message offering massage services, since
somehow I lucked out with a pretty smoothly sloping downhill to the end
of classes.
Only boys were interested in taking up my offer, of course. This is
either a genious idea or a horrible one; last time I promised a
massage, uh yeah....we ended up making out. Hmm....awesome. One of my
friends says she has the same problem. Massages leading to make out
sessions....coincidence that they start with the same letter?
So AIM is pretty good for me to be hit on, clearly. However, I can't
quite read teasing/sarcasm/flirting on it, except from my closest
friends. One guy kept saying he "wasn't teasing" when I said "stop
teasing me!" Oh well, in that case, you better come pick me up, because
we've got a lot of "teasing" to catch up on. No serioulsy, how should I
react to that?
I found myself tonight searching for witty things to say in a lot of
conversations. I ran out of them. And didn't know how to react a lot.
When will I be brave enough to communicate honestly?
(Oh but flirting is so much more fun indirectly )
So then the guy who I'm least interested
in IMs me, and he is the only one who is direct, knows what he wants,
and is ready to take some action - plans for a real date. Well sort of.
He says he atleast wants to take me out on a date. It's a step in the right direction. Well sort of.
And now, for a conclusion, because it's 2am and I'm starting to sound
pretty conceited (i'm just tryin tell...that i can't be treated like
clientel...Fergie...anyone? okay yeah...):
I should give up on boys more often.
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| "Emma, things cannot possibly become MORE awkward between you and him, so you may as well make out," she said.
It seemed true enough at the time. Although we lived across the hall
from each other last year, had about a million mutual friends - and I'm
assuming a mutual attraction for one another based on some amazing
chemistry at dance parties - we have never had a nonawkward
conversation. Either he doesn't get my sense of humor, or he doesn't
show his amusment well, or our brains are just wired totally
differently. I don't get it. When we would dance (okay, and he was
drunk, probably) we would have an amazing time. Hott, I would even
venture to say. The fact that every party we met up at he returned for
a dance with me kind of makes me assume he thought it was hott too. But
during the day time, whether in a group or just us two, our
conversations never flowed. They were too awkward.
Now awkwardness is of course my life, and my favorite thing in the
world, but only if you recognize the awkwardness, embrace it, and laugh
about it. He doesn't do that.
He was my first hard-core crush after a rough break-up, and maybe the
most attractive guy I've seriously persued. But then he went abroad
second semester and I heard got a girlfriend over there and I was just
on to bigger and better things (slash...crushes...of course).
When he came back state-side, lost the girlfriend and actually
participated in a normal conversation one or two times with me (okay so he was probably
drunk atleast one of the times. Damn you alcohol - both a blessing and
a curse!), I got kind of excited.
Now I make it a rule not to make out with random boys (heck, even boys
I know) on the dance floor. Also, I would probably prefer to make out
with boys who are sober and, if awkward at all with me, it must be the
hilarious type of awkwardness. But I mean...he's a Hot Boy - maybe even
slighty above usual CB status!
It's halloween. I see him (as expected) at the typically fabulous halloween dance party.
HB: Whaaat...what are you doing here?
Me: Oh you know me, I'm just tryin to dance!
HB: You're tryin to dance....? Alright lets GO!
If that's not the closest thing to being asked to dance as is possible
in the 21st century, I don't know what is. I wasn't even hinting for
him to dance with me! So of course it is amazing. And I flash back to
the conversation with one of my girlfriends (please see opening quote),
and so instead of playing my usual dodge-and-weave game to avoid
boy-who-only-likes-to-dance-when-he-forces-a-makeout-session-from-it, I
broke my rule(s) and gave in to a splendid time with HB. And it was
sexy. Better than I imagined, and just as glorious as the dancing had
alluded it would be.
...Since I'm writing a book I didn't mean to when I started, and its 2am....to be continued....
 | Currently Watching
Thank You for Smoking (Widescreen Edition)
By Aaron Eckhart, Maria Bello, Cameron Bright, Adam Brody, Sam Elliott, Katie Holmes, David Koechner, Rob Lowe, William H. Macy, J.K. Simmons, Robert Duvall, Kim Dickens, Connie Ray, Todd Louiso, Marianne Muellerleile, Joan Lunden, Eric Haberman, Mary Jo Smith, Jeff Witzke, Alex Diaz (IV)
see related |
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| A problem emerges when you have not written so long, because you've
been so busy - busy doing fun things that are write-worthy - so that
you come and sit down during a brief break (yay Thanksgiving!), and
can't choose what to write about.
There's the disease plaguing JMU women that turns them into useable,
disposable tissues. I think I caught it. Hopefully it's early enough in
its stages that I can nurse myself back to health. There's the awkward awkward awkward hottie from last year.
There's the hilarious follow-up to the follow-through from two entries ago.
There's "John Tucker Must Die."
There's my sister and her (ex?) boy friend sitting on the couch next to
me (my mom went to bed, I've been delegated to babysitter) flirting and
being confusingly adorable.
There's the sad sad fact that I feel like I need a boy-man to take care of.
There's OKgo and their extreme sexiness.
Think I can tackle all these before break is over? Happy Thanksgiving y'all
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